Euphoria

So believe it or not

My mood is at a 9 !!!

I’ve been feeling good, feeling great!

So I figured why not tell you about my manic episode back in Sept.

Sit down as I tell you a little story.

It all started when I got the wrong Chinese food

Usually people would be pissed but not me.

I had the biggest smile across my face and ate that shit like no tomorrow

Weird right?

Probably not

Until you keep hearing the rest of the story.

From that second on, I felt nothing but true happiness. Euphoric almost.

I was on cloud 9, I couldn’t cry I had no feeling but happy.

Who wouldn’t want that right ?

Well then that happiness turned into everything was sexualized.

I couldn’t even drive, everything felt like a penis.

Yes you read that right.

Everything was just a big penis

Redbull, penis

Broom, penis.

Anything I could grasp was a freaking penis and it got even worse

I started to dress different, talk different I felt like I had control of everyone and everything, I was the shit.

Moving on to it increasingly getting worse.

I told myself and chris “if this doesn’t go away in a month I’ll do something about it”.

Probably 3 weeks in I started uncontrollably moaning and would have ticks.

Sexual ticks

I would say very very naughty things without even thinking

Ever scent that smelt good brought me to my knees

At one point I felt like a dominatrix

Then towards October it got to the point of no control my ticks then turned into love sighs

I felt so in love with Chris, I literally kissed the ground he walked on.

Just mentioning his name made me sigh “oh chris my love, isn’t he sweet”

I did that uncontrollably until me and chris thought hey let’s make a psych app online.

Within mins of the app the Dr told me to head to the hospital even urged to call me an ambulance

We declined cause we live literally 5 mins away.

So we go and I get put on a 72hr hold ( I went in Oct 4th and stayed until Oct 10th)

Wait forgot to mention this. This is very important the back of my head also hurt like I was hit with a bat. And when I touched that spot, I fell to my knees instantly. Once I realized this I realized why it was hard for me to go to sleep at night literally moaning in my sleep.

Ok back to the hospital part.

I’m at the hospital and the Dr is looking at me like I’m crazy pretty much acts like he’s never seen anything like it.

I get blood work done, get a CT scan and get put on meds.

Once I’m put on meds my life literally changed

Literally a full spin and I can finally cry. Before I was literally cry laughing. I couldn’t feel anger, sadness. Nothing just sexual frustration from increasingly becoming out of control and euphoria.

Euphoria sounds like a blast but now that I witnessed it, it’s miserable.

I was so sad being happy all the time.

I realized you need your emotions to control yourself mentally.

Since having this experience I have felt great

I’m taking care of me and now I know you need to go through the motions of life

The ups and downs even if, it feels like there’s more bads then goods.

I’m happy I have an official diagnosis bi polar disorder and I’m on the right meds.

I haven’t written a blog post in so long but you all know how depressed I was

I’m about to be 33 years old in August and I feel like I have everything I need/want

I’m happy and content and can’t believe I’ve ever complained about anything

I am here on this earth healthy and able bodied

I have a clear mind and a wonderful husband who treats me like a queen

I have amazingly kind children who have the loving heart my mother passed down to me

I have my wonderful sisters and grandmother here on earth with me.

I am living the life and living proof happiness comes in due time

Just wait for it. Stop pushing for it to happen.

Let it fall into your lap and enjoy the little things ❤

I’m honestly keeping out a lot of info because my whole experience was very sexual but if you have any questions about my experience feel free to message me. I’m more then happy to talk 🥰