I cant sleep!
but I don’t know if I want to anymore.
My nightmares have been so horrible
that I just want to avoid them all together.
I usually find peace in my sleep.
It’s the only time my mind really stops running
….for the most part.
Lately it has been nightmare after nightmare.
Re-traumatizing myself night after night.
I’m ready for it stop and disappear.
I want my sanctuary back!
I’m tired of the tears that lead up to my slumber.
I’m tired of preparing my mind for all the mental pain i’m about to endure.
I already suffer through that enough during the day.
Something that I once looked forward too, I now want to avoid.
I wonder how much sleep ill get tonight?
Maybe i’ll just pull an all nighter, I rather suffer through my thoughts wide awake
then put myself through hell at night.
At least i’m prepared for that.
My nightmares are so unpredictable, I cant even close my eyes for a second without getting terrified.
I’m over it!
Pshh, who needs sleep anyway?!