Forever Uncertain

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It’s funny, once a loved one dies you end up thinking about them more often

then you did when they were around…. 

It’s almost June 2nd, which means…my mothers 50 something birthday.

Yesss! I’ve lost track, but I don’t want to count anymore

but its been around 7 years….

It’s been too long!

It’s around that time, all i want to do is talk to her

but then again…..it’s always around that time.

I’m usually good for so many months, then everything

wrong with me, hits me at once…………

Everything in my life has hit me all at once!

I’m forever fucked!

I just want to forget and move on…

I lack emotions, but i lack them towards reality.

Towards…RIGHT NOW!

I push those who need me now away, because I can’t deal.

I just don’t want to deal.

I never want to deal again!

NEVER!!!! In my life…..

I’m so conflicted!

I’m sure i’ll never give a shit.

Haha EVER!!!!

But about reality……

Some people are born with emotions

And some are born with none.

 I was born, forever conflicted about life….

WHILE NOT GIVING A SHIT!!!!

FOREVER ALONE…

FOREVER WITH MYSELF…

FOREVER IN LIMBO

FOREVER….ALONE

And it will remain that way…

FOREVER….

 

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