LIFE, is what you make it! Not Really!!

8

I swear i’m bipolar

I literally feel a different way every single day.

or maybe I have split personalities?

because every other hour I feel like a different person.

OR….maybe i’m just so lost that i’m trying to find something wrong with myself to justify the moment.

I don’t know the definition of being bipolar or having multiple personalities 

but yet i can literally google the mole on my forehead and feel like i have stage 4 melanoma every other month.

I’m literally so fucking crazy that I have too much pride yet too scared to figure out whats wrong.

But at the same time I don’t feel like anything is wrong.

I know it could be an easy fix.

If my outburst can be triggered by something

My happiness can be as well.

I just have to think positively.

I’ve been thinking positively lately.

and my usual lows have been 

a flick of the wrist.

I’m so over it I don’t fucking care.

I’ve literally have been giving generic answers to life.

Because why not!?

Why make someone else feel dumb

because there wrong…

Why make someone feel dumb

because they have no common sense….. 

Why make someone feel a certain way

Just because their not on the same level as you ;D 

Just because I know if things were vice versa it would hit me so hard i’d want to puke consistently for 3 days.

I’m not saying I can absolutely deal with the depression

or the PTSD and flashbacks 

But anxiety is freaking killer!

Imagine questioning every little thing you do!

Imagine approaching things wondering if your going to hurt someones feelings or they’ll appreciate it!

Imagine over analyzing every single situation you can think of then going over the possibilities over and over and over in your mind knowing damn freaking straight everything will be okay! 

You don’t know it….

But every little thing you say to someone can trigger ANYTHING!

LITERALLY ANYTHINGGGGG!!!

Maybe something they didn’t even realize was even a thought!

Not trying to turn you all into crazies….

But think before you speak.

You can literally wake up tomorrow and your life could change.

You could be just like me.

Learning to cope and trying to play this crazy game called life! 

****Note to everyone, don’t judge my punctuation’s, or my grammar or the way i spell because honestly its not that i don’t give a shit, its just that i’m typing what i feel and honestly don’t give a shit….but if you actually read this whole post you’d know i’d feel the need to justify myself ;D

Spiral1

Forgive me, somehow i stumble across some music i try to avoid and somehow i ended up listening to some old Maria Mena……Not a very good decision at the moment!

 

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