Not Much to say…Anxiety= 1 thousand Camille= Nothing

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im starting to feel lost

oh so lost

my anxiety is so bad I can’t even blog anymore

the thought of “interacting”

with people in some sort of way

is freaking crazyyy

I love feeling lost in a sense though

the sense that it makes me lose track of life

the stress, the constant thoughts racing through my head

one can only take so much before they break down

I can only take so much before I break down

lately my breakdowns have been going through 2 or 3 month intervals

and even though Chris and I are happy there happening less

there hitting harder

I had a break down a couple of weeks ago

I felt aggravated

next thing I knew

I was full blown screaming and crying on Chris

it only lasted a couple minutes before I realized I had to control myself

go back to pretending I was perfect

like I was “tough as nails” as my dad would say

I almost wish I possessed the strength I had when I was with Justin [my abuser]

as crappy as that’s sounds

but  I feel like that’s when I had the most strength

I felt like I could say what I wanted had the most confidence

I was trying to prove something

and even though Ive decided that portion of my life is said and done and over with

that confidence I had went too

and with that I gain my emotions back

10 fold

its crappy

I hate expressing myself

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my newest creation its a light green blue and I think it looks so pretty and elegant

Front and Back

okay for those who dont have me on facebook this is my crazy hobby, my crochet, I make necklaces and what not it helps with my anxiety but yeahh, I don’t usually post my stuff up front like this but I had to restore my computer and these are the only pictures I have on it, btw the top picture is me and my sister and daughter trying to be kesha haha random day haha

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