Waiting and Wishing

000zzzx

I love how I always feel like I can get through this

but yet every year It gets harder and harder

I’m going to snap soon

I’m only convincing myself

that’s what keeps me here

I’m in denial

major denial

everyone is

I tell myself everyday not to stress

someone has it worst then me

but what about the ones who have it better

its like a balancing act

why cant I be better

I’m almost angry that I’m in between stages

I wish my mind would pick

better or worst better or worst

I hate this in between feeling I have

I don’t know what to do with it anymore

its become a huge nuisance

I’m so normal its not even funny but yet my mind races constantly

its like on movies when people are scared of the voices in there head

that’s me its constantly going

I almost want to laugh at myself how crazy I feel

but I know I’m not crazy

my mind has to be playing tricks on me

I’m being tested

I’m starting to bite my nails

its not a good sign

I haven’t bit my nails since I was like 5

my nerves are getting to me

everything and everyone is getting to me

I want it to stop

I want to detach myself from everyone

I just wanna be alone

alive 

but alone

I need time to think

time to clear my head

what I really need is my mother

everything goes back to her

I’m angry she’s not here

fucking furious

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One thought on “Waiting and Wishing

  1. Leo says:

    I understand those feelings, I feel the same, but I’m most in the worst side, even when I try to be possitive

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