What’s another day?!

3

So this is the 1 year anniversary of me starting my blog!
WooHoo!!!!
And not only is this the one year anniversary
But its also my 100th blog post! [[Insert horrble transition sentence here]]
I don’t know if I’m getting better.
or if I’m just getting used to the pain, aggravation, irritation, and mood swings.
I feel free and calm one minute.
Then my mood changes the next.
I go to sleep, wake up and forget about the day before.
I start new and fresh
until it all happens all over again.
It gets old.
Its getting old.
I’m just happy that i am one of those people that can deal.
I’m plenty aware I’m not in my right mind
and I’m plenty aware not to hurt myself.
There thoughts.
And my conscience
helps me push them aside
and over power the bad ones!
I know I’m crazy but not insane.
Its impossible
because for me to recognize that i was insane
then how sane would i actually be?!
to be insane you don’t know your insane
its just a way of life.
What you know.
Its what your brain is told and radiating to your thoughts!
But i know right and wrong
and how to handle it.
I’m just not in a great state of mind.
A little crazy.
Just not insane!
From lightness there’s darkness
and from darkness there’s light!
That’s what is encapsulated in my mind.
There’s no wrong or right.
That’s my take on that.
Bad comes from good, and good comes from bad.
And repeat!
Repetitive thoughts!
Repetitively thinking.
I’m a thinker.
I think a lot.
I repeat things to cope.
I hide under my big pink pillow to cope.
I shut my eyes to cope.
I shake my head back and forth to cope.
I’M DONE FUCKING COPING!!
WHEN DOES THIS SHIT END!!!
WHEN DOES THIS SHIT GET BETTER!!!
WHEN DOES THIS SHIT GO AWAY!!!
Someone please tell me you’ve made it to
that shiny bright light that shines at the end of the darkness.
And please tell me when you got there
you stayed!
Does it just fade away?
and repeat?!
From dark there’s light.
From light there’s dark.
dark…light.
light…dark!
Deep, deep in my fucking mind
You go!
Thank you for traveling!
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