A Crazy Bitch In a Crazy Fucked Up State of Mind!

So apparently I’m a very mature and intelligent women.

For some reason i call BULLSHIT on that one!!!

I don’t know why i constantly put myself down

and believe I’m not good enough.

I wish i could change my attitude.

But unfortunately the words

of hate towards myself has been engraved in my mind.

Ive been trying to rid them for 6 years.

I have been having horrible anxiety lately

and i don’t know where its coming from.

It could be from the abuse

The anniversary of my mothers death approaching

or the fact that my husband is finally home.

I feel like every now and then

Life just hits me

And it hits me hard.

I want it all to go away for a week.

I wanna relax.

Enjoy something

Enjoy soooooooooooommmthingggggggggg!!!

I wanna do that thing when i repeat things and

squeeze my head like things will go away

Shut my eyes, rub my head.

But theres people around

I don’t want them to think I’m crazy.

Oh how I’m crazy

But then again who isn’t?!

I’m a crazy Crazy bitch

In this crazy fucked up world.

Hatred surrounds me.

And i hate it!

You see what i did there ?

I cant get over it


I wish i could discover a self cure.

I wanna conquer the world

With my big heart.

My “intelligent” mind.

And my mature nature.

   I wanna love the way i was meant to.

No hate!

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