I wanna be stable!
I’m tired of thinking I’m doing good then BAM!
Everything is back to normal.
Its funny i say anxiety and depression is my normal.
It makes me even more depressed just thinking about it.
I shouldn’t be calling my illness MY “normal”
My day revolves around my illness
My mind is constantly focused on my illness.
PTSD has consumed my entire life.
My husband deserves someone more stable then I !
and i cant give it to him.
This is my life.
and no matter what people try and tell me
I’m strong and beautiful and inspiring.
Or how much people try and fix me.
Ill forever be trapped in this lifestyle.
Lost in this crazy train of thought!
I will never get better
and i must face it.
This is my reality
I need to learn to embrace the good
and stop dwelling on the past
and the things that have
caused my mind to be so fucked up!
Ive boarded this ride
with no expectations as a teen.
And my decisions have taken me
to a foreign place.
I must relearn everything I’ve already known.
and that’s my problem.
Instead of adapting to my surroundings.
I’m going through the old motions.
Reliving life once again.
I need to calm down.
Stop over thinking.
And go with the flow.
I must trust that life will guide me through the perfect path.
Whats going to happen will happen regardless
and i must remind myself that!