Ive concluded I’m afraid of death
Since I’ve conquered my first fear
of speaking out to someone
Death has moved up to the top of the list.
And I’m fucking terrified of it!
Not of my own death you see
but others deaths.
It scares me to think of who in my life
Ive noticed i try not to get emotionally attached to people .
That’s why I’m such a bitch to Chris sometimes.
[and maybe it also has to do with the fact that I’m a woman and men never do anything right ;D]
Its harder to go through a death, when you actually care.
and I’m afraid, what if Chris dies before me?
What would that do to my mental state?
I cant do death!
I handle it horribly.
I know nobody is content with death.
But i wish i was.
DEATH FUCKING SUCKS!
I hope one day i can get over this fear
and handle it a little better.
I think that’s the source of most of my anxiety.
Its a fear i live with everyday.
Everyday i wake up and pray i don’t get a phone call from someone
stating someone that i love died.
Its a horrible feeling i live with
and i HATE it!
My life shouldn’t revolve around peoples deaths
it should revolve around life!
and i cant wait to feel the feeling of life!