Getting Better? Ehhh….

My mind is racing once again
It hasn’t for about a week.
I’ve been working out
Trying to avoid the wine in my fridge!
I want it so bad.
I miss the warm feeling it provides.
I love that it helps me forget
But drinking isn’t the way to rid these thoughts
Its only a temporary fix.
I don’t need temporary I need long term!
Therefore I don’t need it!
I shouldn’t need it !
I refuse to be yet another statistic
PTSD equals drink your fucking life away till your problems are solved!
Nope! I refuse.
I feel like I’ve mastered every problem you could probably have in life.
Life’s a struggle for me everyday
It always has and I feel and fear It always will be
But I try to look at the positives
I’m still here!
Which means I have a purpose.
I don’t know what that purpose is
But I can’t wait to find out!
I think its the change I crave!
I wanna know why I’m here and what I’m suppose to do
My life can’t possibly revolve around my anxiety and depression forever
There has to be more to it!
There must be more to it! Right?
I want to make an impact!
Not just any impact
But a BIG BIG impact That’ll convince me
I did something good.
I helped someone, i fixed someone.
But in order to do that
I must fix myself.
Like i always say
Onward, Upward, Survival, and Growth ❤
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