Anxiety, Depression, Ptsd can all fucking SUCK IT!

I don’t know what to blog about anymore

my thoughts are empty

yet all over the place at the same time.

I feel fat and ugly and lack the confidence

i know i should have and deserve.

I feel unwanted, and lonely.

No one can help me, but myself.

I just don’t know how to figure that out!

I want to feel healthy.

I want the strength that i possess

to shine on the inside as it does on the out.

I’m finally going to admit I’m stuck.

Ive always been a loner

But i feel like i need people.

I need to feel wanted.

I want to be surrounded by happiness.

I’m confused on how my life has gotten to this point.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt sane.

Nor entirely happy and content.

The smallest thing, can shoot me into depression.

Trigger my anxiety.

And make me feel burdensome.

I’m so needy and i hate it!

I fucking despise the amount of love, i need and want.

I hate everyone, but yet i need everyone

to keep me going

to compliment me

build me up.

I was never like that.

I miss myself

and want her back.

I’ve never wanted something so fucking bad in my life!

I no longer want to feel misunderstood.

or a burden.

I no longer want to explain my actions

or why i feel the way i do.

There unexplainable.

And i wish people would understand that.

If i went down a normal path

and come across someone like my current self

I’d call them crazy.

Its hard to think someone

who looks so normal

could be suffering so much on the inside

and have no clue why.

I cant explain myself, nor explain my feelings.

Its frustrating, just flat out fucking frustrating!

I miss smiling.

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