Life is What You Make it!

Sometimes i feel like no one can fix me.
I feel a lone.
I feel like I’m trapped in my body.
That little part of life in me i have left
wants to break free
and enjoy life
but its trapped!
My past has a grip on it
and its satisfied
knowing it’ll never see the light of day.
But I’m gonna fight this
i want to enjoy the life i have.
I cant be one of those people who don’t fight.
I cant give up!
I refuse!
I’ve always been a fighter.
Ill continue to be a fighter.
Till my last breathe!
Once again, sorry i seem bi polar.
But do you have a certain smell in your life
that reminds you of happiness?
Well, i do
Its some type of body wash Chris uses
I don’t know what kind it is
It might be Irish spring or something
I don’t know, i don’t pay attention to his body wash.
But when i smell it, it smells like a childhood memory.
My innocent years
When i was oblivious to all the bad
Sometimes i wonder, if my mother never died
Would i be a little bit more stable
or was my life destined to be this way?
If i never made the decision to be with Justin
Would i still live in this depressed state?
If i never met Chris
Would i still be here?
If i never got pregnant
Where would i be? What kind of lifestyle would i be living?
That’s whats scary
about life
that’s when i realize
things happen for a reason
They had to happen this way.
What if this is the good side of life
What if i went down the other path
and became a drunk, druggie, killer, physco path, homeless, or even dead
I really must start taking my advice
and appreciate these things.
People have it worst then i do
I’ve only made one very poor decision
and i feel like life has been horrible to me.
What about those who’ve made several poor decisions
How are they feeling about life?
Sometimes i really feel like i should stop complaining
and start enjoying myself.
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