Starry Slumbler

I’m currently laying here In the dark

Staring at glow in the dark stars

Hanging on the ceiling

[At my grandparents house just to clarify]

And this is so peaceful

I remember when Chris was home Sometimes he would watch the kids for me

So I can go into our room and relax

When I say relax I mean go into our room Cry my eyes out and scream as loud as I could!

Sometimes these little episodes of mine

could last 45 Min’s, an hour, an hour and a half And on occasions all night.

Eventually it all comes to an end

And I feel a little better

The reason why when I said in the beginning Of this blog

that its relaxing Is because when I have my panic attacks at night

I lay in my room in the dark and stare at the ceiling

Its honestly the only time I’m not chicken shit in the dark

It feels so peaceful

I make up happy fictional stories with my thoughts

It feels as if I’m floating And nothing or no one can bother me

Its really such a peaceful feeling

All my stress melts away

All my pain disappears

Then i slowly drift off

into a peaceful slumber

I wish I could live my everyday life like this

I really do!

By the way

i also want to note that i was told that i was suffering from ptsd.

im pretty sure i knew that already

but it felt good to know that i self diagnosed myself correctly!

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