Distance now! Regret later?

Before my husband leaves for any military thing

I realize i often distance myself in a way.

My mind tells me, it’ll help to process the fact that he’ll be gone for a while

but in reality

Ehhh, WRONG!

It doesn’t, not one bit! It actually makes it much much worst.

I don’t know if its just me

Cause i know a lot of milso’s are very clingy

but not i, i know there has to be others out there like me


Getting secretly anxious

Locking yourself in your room

Barely talking

Sitting wondering, “when the fuck are they gonna leave already?!”

Yeah well that’s me.

I just wanna get it done and over with as soon as possible

with the least emotion a person could possibly emote.

I honestly should ask him if that bothers him.

I know people handle situations differently

and i wonder if he ever feels like

he got stuck with a defective wife!





I swear maybe i should be the man of this relationship.

The only wife type trait he got was my nagging haha

He couldn’t of possibly fell in love with that.

Anyways to get back on track

For those of you gals that are like me

don’t distance yourself.

You’ll end up regretting it


that’s why your mind is constantly running around wondering

does he still love me?

will he come home to me?

i hope he doesn’t leave me!

because you didn’t get that little bit of clarification before he left.

all because you were too stubborn

to accept the fact that he has orders

that you can do nothing about!


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3 thoughts on “Distance now! Regret later?

  1. Charity says:

    Yep- guilty of that too. I think it is more the anger and sadness that flood my heart right before he is leaving and my attempt not to unleash it on him. 🙂

    • cpaynelove says:

      never thought of it that way. I think deep down im trying to avoid a nasty arguement before he leaves, so i try and make things easier for both of us.

      • Charity says:

        Exactly. Talk to him about it. I confessed to my husband my avoidance tactic in am email after reading your post. I told him how what I really wanted was to pour out my heart to him during those times but I was afraid of how he would react at what got poured out. He responded, “I am always here for you to talk to.” I don’t have to keep it bottled up or only pour it out to God after he leaves. He actually wants me to share my hurt.

        So glad I read your post. 🙂

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