Surviving the Inevitable

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Its crazy how one incident

can change your whole entire life.

I remember watching the Maury show with my mother growing up
watching the episodes where the man
dominates the woman
controls her
beats her
pretty much humiliates her
I remember saying
“nope! that’ll never be me, ill kick a mans ass if he tried”
well NEWSFLASHHH for me
it wasn’t that easy
I never thought i would’ve ever been in an abusive relationship
and honestly i bet some women are in one now
and just don’t know it
it kinda sneaks up on you.
and by the time you see the warning signs
its too late.
That horrible horrible man
who puts you down
makes you feel worthless
beats you up
scars you
Your already in to deep.
Your in love, but you wish you weren’t!
I don’t care who are
but falling out of love isn’t as easy as falling in.
and i feel
that’s the main reason why woman cant get out.
yes, there’s a fear of him killing you.
but there’s also the thought of change.
deep down you have hope and faith.
but women please don’t hold onto that.
[just to be clear I’m talking about hope in faith in a person]
It’ll only make things worst for you when you actually get out!
I had hope and faith
and do you know what?
I lost all hope, and all faith
[in general]
All because i held onto it for that one guy.
I just take what life throws at me now
good or bad
I have no positives, no negatives
life’s like playing heads or tails for me
I don’t know which sides its gonna land on.
I also remember watching the episodes with the pregnant teens
and i remember saying
“sucks for them who would want a baby that young”
I’ve always thought, teens moms were slut whores
who didn’t know how to wrap it up
once again! NEWSFLASHHH!!
Ive learned not to judge anybody anymore in any situation
because it could happen to you, yeahh you!
you can wake up tomorrow after having
protected sex with a condom while also on birth control
just to find out 4 weeks later your pregnant
with some random guys baby who wants nothing to do with you!
[OK, that is highly unlikely to happen,but it could if your really really unlucky]
[[oh and if you suck at taking birth control haha]]
But it does happen
and like I’ve said in previous blogs
I got pregnant at 15 because i was in a very unhealthy relationship
I don’t regret my son at all
I just regret who his father is!
If i would’ve known, that man was going to traumatize me for life
i would’ve never laid eyes on him!
With that said, i believe i saved someone Else’s life
by choosing him
Even though in a way I’m contradicting myself from a previous blog
but I AM a really really strong individual emotionally
and if i, of all people can got pushed to a breaking point
than i don’t believe someone else would’ve survived him [at 15]
and if you believe otherwise
Then congrats, your a really strong person too!
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