The Air Vent of Sanity

So I’m currently on the road from a 3 hour drive to long island
I’m sitting here about to have a panic attack
And I’m trying to calm myself down before anybody notices
To calm down I literally stare at something
Anything for minutes
My object of choice this time
A ceiling air vent in the car
I’m trying to focus on happy thoughts
My happy thought of choice
Chris.
I’m thinking about a conversation we had the other day
Strangely is was about divorce or death Something like that
Pretty much Chris was telling me if it happened I could find someone new
But my only response to that was, why?
I’ve already found my soul mate!
I believe everybody has only ONE soul mate
And if I ever lost Chris
Why move on
Its impossible to find love like that again
No one would ever amount to him or even come close
Moving on from him is like Someone giving you a billion dollars
You go on a shopping spree then someone steals the rest
You’ll never see that amount of money again
And you’ll never get it back
A million dollars still wouldn’t make the hurt go away
Chris is my billion dollars
And as Corny as it sounds I never wanna lose him
He makes me happy, when skies are gray
Ok that was Corny too
But I only said that cause when I’m upset
He sings me “you are my sunshine”
So it only seemed appropriate for my calming down method
Of staring, thinking, and blogging!
Anyways if your ever having a panic attack
I totally suggest my method
You may look crazy staring at the same thing for 10 minutes
But I bet it feels way better then having an attack, seriously
Breaking down for no reason at all is so annoying
So I learned how to attempt to control it
Its not 100% effective though
After a while it builds up and you have to let it out
But I rather let it out alone then in a car full of people!
P.s. this blog was a total attempt to calm down sooo it might seem a little random actually completely random! Thanks for reading!
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4 thoughts on “The Air Vent of Sanity

  1. Paula says:

    I think yoga would be good for you, too. If you can focus on something in a car full of people, you can do yoga. 🙂

    • cpaynelove says:

      haha thank you, ive never thought of that…ive actually been trying a lot of new things…my new thing is zumba, it not only gives me energy and drive to lose weight but its helping me focus on other things that dont involve the crazy stressful things from life! but im really going try yoga now, thanks!

      • Paula says:

        Let me know how you like it when and if you do try it. I’ve only been practicing for 10 months, but it has changed my life and has been a huge part of my therapy. Your blog is very powerful. Thanks for sharing.

      • cpaynelove says:

        ok, i definantly will! and thanks for reading 😀

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