False Advertisment

So today is one of those days for me
I realize I’m constantly talking about how
“Undepressed” i am
But here’s the truth
When i say “I’m no longer depressed”
I really mean, I’m no longer in the slump that i once was in
Ive improved in so many ways
and my life feels so much better then it did before
But here’s the kicker
Rather then having those horrible outburst on hating life everyday
It hits me every once and awhile
Kinda like i relapsed
And i hate it
I’m trying not to think of all the stress I’ve been put through
these last, almost 9 months
and i cant believe I’ve made it this far without breaking down
but as i wrote in previous post r&r killed me
Those 2 weeks aren’t even worth it
I got a little taste of what it felt like to have help
around the house
with the kids
with basic everyday things
you know, just everyday life
and now I’m back on my own for another 3 months
and its stressing me out
doctors appointment’s
grocery shopping
dealing with three hyper kids
taking javon to school
what if the car breaks down
what if this happens, what if that happens
all these things are going through my mind
and the thought of doing this alone any longer scares me
I know obviously i have to suck it up and deal with it
Ive gone this far
Whats a couple more months, right?!
But its still stressful
I’m currently feeling like a false advertisement
I’m not as strong as i seem
and i absolutely hate that I’m showing you guys this side of me
but i want people to know
yes, i am strong
but i have my moments too, and its okay
people need to have moments
were all human
and all function the same way
some are just easier at hiding what they feel
but for me expressing it here makes a huge difference
I feel like every stressful thing i just wrote magically went away
I’m ready to go back to my crazy stressful life
and pretend I’m superwoman again ;D

My stress reliever for today
got my nose pierced!
the funny this is the lady who pierced it asked
“did it hurt more then your septum”
haha i swear i rather give birth 3 more times before ever piercing my septum again
thats why it stays till im fully ready to say goodbye to it haha
plus my husband thinks its sexy ;D

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