Thinking about my past
Nothing new right?!
Anyways, lets think back to about a year ago
Justin called [obviously from jail]
and he had the nerve to tell me i was the devil!
Do you know why?
He’s never beat me.
He’s never raped me.
He’s never kept me from my family.
He’s never kept me from going to school.
He’s never put guns to my head.
He’s never forced me to lie for him!
Apparently i have such a huge imagination
and I’m a big fat liar.
i must be the devil right?!
Seriously lets get real
Domestic abuse is a serious thing
It’s nothing to joke about.
The thing is i wasn’t pissed that he called me the devil [okay i was just a little]
but its just the fact that he’s denied ever abusing me.
Telling me i was worthless
Cheating on me.
Telling me, i was the worst girlfriend ever.
Telling me no one would want me and i was gross.
Attempting to kill me.
Forcing me, so close to insanity that i wanted to kill myself.
That’s what pisses me off!
I’m not a liar
And i defiantly wouldn’t lie about something this serious.
I did so much for him even though he didn’t deserve it.
I was faithful.
I was obedient.
I was there for him no matter how bad he beat me.
For example; the time he stomped and kicked me in the head so hard, that he broke his toe
I even lied to the doctor, telling him Justin kicked a chair.
I knew the doctor didn’t believe me Hence he questioned me like 10 times.
I should’ve tried to get out right then and there.
But I’ve already built up so much love and hate.
and i was scared shitless to leave.
Looking back now, i wish i was as strong then as i am now
because if i was, it wouldn’t of gotten as far as it did.
So even though, recently
He has written me a letter apologizing for everything
[yes it only took him about 6 years to do it]
but I would still like to say
I’m not the devil
Look in the mirror
You may not see the devil
but you will see the spawn of Satan
and you deserve to be where you are today
In jail…For life!
You’ve ruined my life .
And with that said
I’m happy you don’t have one either!